I've been approached with this Move twice in the last 3 weeks. Another example of great minds think alike. One was from a group of high school buddies. My dear friend Luis called me up, clearly hammered, and gave the phone over to a guy I used to play high school ball with. I was a couple years older than him, but dude could chuck it. (Had a lot of potential. Surprised he never made it to the Bigs honestly.) He was telling me about his new Move: "Grabbing Some Air at the Bar." No cig, no vape, just rolling outside and suckin' in some good ole-fashioned O2. Great Move. We got pumped, broke it down, he then asked if anyone's sent this Move over. Legit, someone hit me up with the same Move two weeks earlier. He seemed a little bummed, think bro was mentally on his way to the patent office. Ownership aside, what a play.
Type of Move that finds you around the age of 32-36. Not saying a young buck can't appreciate a Move like this, but, when you're early 30s and squished in some lame bar you didn't even want to go to, the idea of standing outside and breathing in fresh air starts looking at you like (insert any meme of a hot girl staring at you). This one works.
Early me would head to the bar for a reset. Couple shots for the boys. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a firm believer in rally shots, but rally shots are 1000% not a grounded, meditative practice. It's faux confidence and moxie intended to bring out the real thing. Suckin' down a little O2 with the boys... now we're grounded, now we're back at square one. Quick timeout, reset, clear mind, full hearts, can't lose. Real confidence, real character, smiles are wider, laughs are deeper, girls are less terrifying. Grab Some Air. Could Be The Move.
At first glance, I completely agree with this guy. Getting checked after dropping, "The Usual" sounds devastating. I mean a real week-to-month ruiner, but then again... what if this is his Move? Everywhere he goes, "I'll take the usual." First time at a place, "Hey! (checks nametag) Diane, I'll take the usual." Sure, you're getting a response like that 97% of the time, but what about that 3%? Server jots something down. They start whipping up whatever. Friends, family, acquaintances all in disbelief. "You come here a lot?" "Nope. First time." How did they know his order? The usual? Wait, what?
Is this Move worth the 97% rejection rate? The wave of secondhand embarrassment felt by everyone in a 10-foot radius? For me, probably not. But that 3% sounds like a fucking rush man.
Side note: I think we need to make, "Server’s Choice" a thing. Instead of grinding on the menu, just tell em', "Your call!" The anticipation of seeing what they bring out… might have to give that one a rip this weekend.
Comment section be like: "As a server of 10 years DO NOT do this. It's not our job to decide what you're having."
Yes, I'm aware this could rattle some servers, which is why I'd only pull it off with servers I've built rapport with. Relax. This is a comedy account.
I'll be honest, I don't like diving too far deep into Chop content. I feel like an old man yelling at a cloud. Just scraping the inner workings of my brain to create emotion, then channeling this angst and disgust into words on my computer screen. It's not therapeutic. If anything, it makes me more pissed off. Why I never got into journaling. Out here throwing emotions on a page; now the words live forever. Months, years later, you look back at what you wrote, “Dear god, if I pass and one of my family members gives this puppy a read...” “This guy’s a bozo!”
Alright, my Chop of the Week: Grillo's Pickles. Great fucking pickle: tasty, snappy, crunchy. Just beautiful. I tell you what though, their packaging is a god damn nightmare. Every time I open one of these bad boys I get pickle juice everywhere. Legit, every, single, time. I can't be the only unathletic fuck that has this issue. They fill that puppy right to the top, which, in a world where Doritos and Indie chips sell 85% air, I can respect this Move. But how about we lose a teaspoon or two.
I hated writing that. Grown man writing an excerpt in his newsletter about spilling pickle juice.
- Bobby D.